PIVOT!

You know how when you get to an empty parking lot but then can’t figure out where to park?  After two + years of living in Airbnb’s across the country, that’s kinda how I feel about where I want to lay down roots and live.  The end of last year I had a very definite answer where that was, Tennessee.  But that all changed very quickly in January causing me to pivot.

It’s been a very long time since last I posted a new blog.  Time flies when you’re having fun, making big plans, and big decisions.  But when the decisions you make don’t pan out, you pivot and figure out your next move on the fly even when you’re terribly sad.  Back in January I posted a cryptic message on Facebook that had friends worried about what was going on with me that made me get in the car and drive to Texas for a service at Lakewood Church.  It was wonderful to have so many friends call or text to check in on me, even though I really didn't have it in me to talk. The second week of January 2024 was supposed to be a happy and exciting week. I was going to close on a townhouse I loved in Nashville, TN.  It wasn’t going to be my forever home, but my homebase.  I figured I could rent it on Airbnb if I wanted to continue to travel but it would be MY home and I would be able to move my stuff out of the (increasingly more expensive) storage unit in New Jersey, (more on that later). But, it wasn’t meant to be.  Long story short … the timing of my mortgage approval took way longer than it should have due to misinformation I received from the loan processor; The seller had a higher backup offer and didn’t agree to move the closing date. On the day I was supposed to close, it all fell apart.

That week I also received a letter from the fertility clinic I spent so many years going to.  What I thought had been handled more than a year before I found out, was not.  I was able to take care of my part easily, but that wasn’t the issue.  It brought back very sad memories of the hours and hours spent without the intended outcome. 

When the house fell through, I was lost and wasn’t sure about my next move. That, coupled with the memories the letter brought up just made me incredibly sad.  I have made some cherished friends in my travels the last few years and had options to go stay with some of them while I figured out my next move.  Fortunately, one was close by to lend a shoulder to cry on and a hug I didn’t realize I needed so badly.  For the rest of my life I will remember that hug and the secure feeling to just fall apart.  (Love you my friend.)

Because of those friendships, I now had a choice, stay in Tennessee and start the home search again or go to Texas.  Everything I planned for the next few months was now not going to be a reality.  It was the day I was supposed to close, a Wednesday, and I was only able to extend my Airbnb in Franklin till Friday, so I needed to make a quick decision about where to go.  To those friends who said, “you can stay here as long as you want to figure it out” … that was a gift and I can’t thank you enough for your generosity.  Since my long(ish) term plan fell apart I needed a new one. If I didn’t have the option to stay with friends, I would need to find a new Airbnb and decide how long to commit to it. I was not in the right place to decide that week so the kindness of friends gave me the time to be sad for a bit and figure it out without a timeline.

I opted for Austin, TX.  An added benefit was I would be able to stop in Houston for a service at Lakewood Church to hear an uplifting message from Joel Osteen. (Thank you my friends for the offer, love you all!)  No sooner that I arrived in Houston I caught a cold.  I took that as a sign to just rest and not make any more decisions on my future for the next few weeks. Which I did, I slept for days and healed both physically and mentally.  It was much needed.

Now about the storage unit … when I started this hobo life, I didn’t think it would last more than a year. I put everything in a storage unit near my mother’s house and now, here I am, well into year three and it continues to get more and more expensive as time goes on.  If it goes up any more, I could rent a cheap apartment to keep my stuff while I continue my hobo life.  At this point, I could have given away my furniture I put in there back in 2022 and bought all new furniture.  When I moved out of my house in 2021 I didn’t take any of the furniture, just ‘stuff’.  I was starting a new life, starting fresh.  After years of living in a house that was not even half done, I loved every minute of furnishing my apartment.  I was designing a home and a life I loved that reflected who I am. That made it difficult to get rid of all my new stuff.  When I bought it all, I had no idea it would only last one year until I got this bright idea to work from home wherever I choose to be at the moment and move around the country checking off places on my bucket list.

It has been six months since the house deal fell apart.  Since then I’ve looked at houses in Tennessee, Texas, Florida, online in New Jersey, Delaware, and Arizona.  I have no idea where I want to land.  There are so many options.  But for now, I’ve stopped looking at real estate.  Well, the ever-increasing mortgage rates have made that decision for me, really.  Going back to what I said at the beginning of this post, I truly feel like I’m in an empty parking lot trying to figure out where to park myself. I guess God is telling me to stop trying to figure it out.  Live and enjoy.  It will all fall into place.